- THE BLUE BIRD OF HOPE -

- THE BLUE BIRD OF HOPE -

- ARE YOU AFRAID? -

- ARE YOU AFRAID? -

- A CHARCOAL SKETCH AND AN ACRYLIC PAINTING OF A GREEK GODDESS -

- VINCENT AND HIS BEARD-

-HOW LOW CAN YOU GO SKETCH-

-HOW LOW CAN YOU GO SKETCH-

- DUCKFACE SKETCH -

- DUCKFACE SKETCH -

- DIFFERENT JESUS -

- DIFFERENT JESUS -

- ACID TRIP SKETCH-

- ACID TRIP SKETCH-

-ACID TRIP-

I know that this painting looks strange.
And probably no-one of you will understand it’s true meaning.
You see, I am a sufferer from a chronic, uncurable illness.
I have been told to take medicine 3 times per dy, every day, until my last day.
Yet I decided not to.
Instead, I chaned everything in my life I could, to just live a normal life.
This illness is called ’ Acid reflux esophagitis’, which means that the stomach acid travels up and down my system at all times, causing a lot of pain.
Especially, as because of this I have got up to now, three raw areas inside my stomach, therefore the pain sometimes gets unbearable.
There are many ays, that I spend, curled up in a ball on the floor, crying, because the pain is too great.
It is hard to speak, even breathe during these attacks.
I am actually having an attack at this very moment, while I’m typing.
Why?
The chicken, I had for lunch, was too spicy, and the potatoes I had with it, have been cooked with presence of oil.
I am now considering going hospital, as I probably won’t be able to sleep because of the pain.
But wait, no, what is the point.
The painkillers wouldn’t help.
Nothing would.
I just have to be a patient little girl and wait for the pain to go.
Even if it could take a week for it to go.
Even if all, I could eat, would be baby food.
It’s ok, I’ve got good amount of baby food stocked up for such occassions anyways.
How do I feel now?
Exactly as it is shown in the painting.
Exactly like that.

Tempera, watercolors, acrylic spray paint.

-ACID TRIP-

I know that this painting looks strange.
And probably no-one of you will understand it’s true meaning.
You see, I am a sufferer from a chronic, uncurable illness.
I have been told to take medicine 3 times per dy, every day, until my last day.
Yet I decided not to.
Instead, I chaned everything in my life I could, to just live a normal life.
This illness is called ’ Acid reflux esophagitis’, which means that the stomach acid travels up and down my system at all times, causing a lot of pain.
Especially, as because of this I have got up to now, three raw areas inside my stomach, therefore the pain sometimes gets unbearable.
There are many ays, that I spend, curled up in a ball on the floor, crying, because the pain is too great.
It is hard to speak, even breathe during these attacks.
I am actually having an attack at this very moment, while I’m typing.
Why?
The chicken, I had for lunch, was too spicy, and the potatoes I had with it, have been cooked with presence of oil.
I am now considering going hospital, as I probably won’t be able to sleep because of the pain.
But wait, no, what is the point.
The painkillers wouldn’t help.
Nothing would.
I just have to be a patient little girl and wait for the pain to go.
Even if it could take a week for it to go.
Even if all, I could eat, would be baby food.
It’s ok, I’ve got good amount of baby food stocked up for such occassions anyways.
How do I feel now?
Exactly as it is shown in the painting.
Exactly like that.

Tempera, watercolors, acrylic spray paint.

- USELESS, TALENTLESS FREAK -

This will be quite a story.
I am actually a person with extremely low self - esteem.
I think that I am the most repulsive creature in the world and never good enough at anything.
A useless, talentless piece of sh*t.
It doesn’t help, when my boyfriend calls me beautiful and it doesn’t help when I get called to do another modelling job.
It doesn’t help when I get called talented and when I achieve my goals.
I always need more.
To be better, stronger, thinner, you name it.
Therefore, I am never good enough for myself.
It all started..
Well, how do you think?
I was terribly bullied in my first years of school.
You see, I was fat.
So I got beaten up, spat at and called names for half of my childhood.
I grew up, but the feeling of being a piece of garbage was still there.
After a personal tutorial, that I had, when I got told I’m again, not good enough, I guess that was it.
I was extremely upset and decided to at least exopress myself.
The creatures lurking from the above, are the nasty people, all of them.
The vomit is the dirt they have been spitting on me all my life.
The rest.. you will have to think yourselves.

Tempera, acrylic, watercolors. A3

- USELESS, TALENTLESS FREAK -

This will be quite a story.
I am actually a person with extremely low self - esteem.
I think that I am the most repulsive creature in the world and never good enough at anything.
A useless, talentless piece of sh*t.
It doesn’t help, when my boyfriend calls me beautiful and it doesn’t help when I get called to do another modelling job.
It doesn’t help when I get called talented and when I achieve my goals.
I always need more.
To be better, stronger, thinner, you name it.
Therefore, I am never good enough for myself.
It all started..
Well, how do you think?
I was terribly bullied in my first years of school.
You see, I was fat.
So I got beaten up, spat at and called names for half of my childhood.
I grew up, but the feeling of being a piece of garbage was still there.
After a personal tutorial, that I had, when I got told I’m again, not good enough, I guess that was it.
I was extremely upset and decided to at least exopress myself.
The creatures lurking from the above, are the nasty people, all of them.
The vomit is the dirt they have been spitting on me all my life.
The rest.. you will have to think yourselves.

Tempera, acrylic, watercolors. A3